Mara's Musings

Thinking of a new set of anti-fluffy reality affirmation cards (copyright) - the perfect Christmas gift.  Any further suggestions gratefully received:



**   Life is unfair

**   No matter how many times you say "I am beautiful" into the mirror you will not look like Angelina or Brad.

**   Archangel Michael has better sh*t to do, sort your own life out. 

**   Saying "I am a magnet for money" into the mirror will not make you rich - go and get a job.

**   You are responsible for yourself.

**   If "manifesting by positive thoughts" works why aren't we all rich, thin and beautiful?

**   The only person you can rely on 100% is you.

**   The Universe owes you nothing.

**   When you ask for help people are entitled to say "no".

**   No one else is duty bound to help you even if you ask them to.

**   Acting helpless will only manipulate people for so long, then they will disappear as if by magic.

**   There are plenty of more deserving cases out there.

**   You are not the centre of anyone's universe except your own.

**   Your problems are called your problems because they ARE YOURS!  Deal with it.

**   Whining like a bitch only works when you are 3.

**   How will you trade on your looks/cleavage when you are 80?

**   No one has to bail you out when you lunch it out.

**   You're right - nobody does give a toss.

and finally....

**   Being a nice person does not guarantee anything - mostly Karma screws up.

This has been doing the rounds on Facebook of late, and in the light of my previous post, I thought I would also share it here.

The language of the avante-garde of new age free thinking liberalism and what they really mean.
A humourous but essential guide to those living in, considering living in, or just loving Glastonbury for all it's whacky weirdness.

Debate.

Being negative - you are not seeing things from my point of view.
Showing your ignorance - you are not seeing things from  my point of view.
Just being one of the sheeple - you are opposing my argument, I have lost and can't cope with the fact that you don't share my point of view.
Reactionary - not seeing things from my point of view.
Brainwashed - not seeing things from my point of view.
Positive - you agree with me.
Educated/well-read/intelligent - you agree with me.
True - it's what I believe
Lies/disinformation/uninformed -  you don't believe in what I believe in.
You need to take a more inclusive holistic approach - you need to include my whacko theory in with your rational one.




Life
I am speaking from the source - I am making this shit up
I'm speaking my truth - I'm being an obnoxious twat who lacks empathy
Standing in my own power - I'm being an obnoxious twat who lacks empathy
Everything is perfect - I'm deluded or high on drugs
The universe will provide - I am too apathetic to do anything myself so I am hoping some  mug will sort my problems out for me.
Down with the system! - except the benefits system which I live on.

There's going to be a paradigm shift - I live in a dream.
The Mayans were really clever, they foretold all of this - I have never watched Apocalypto.

Religion

I believe in religious freedom - unless you are a Christian, a Muslim or a Jew because they are all evil.
You shouldn't be negative about my beliefs - but I can say what I like about yours.
I believe in/I am an angel/fairy/unicorn/alien - I haven't taken my meds today.

Food
We should all be vegan/vegetarian/raw - I am a food fascist and only believe in choice for myself but not others.
Animals are people too - I watch too much Walt Disney.
You should be a vegan/vegetarian/raw because meat is poison - however having to take multivitamins and mineral supplements is OK
I don't put anything processed into my body - except for the vitamin supplements I need to take because I am on a diet that excludes everything except organic mung bean sprouts.

Health

I don't put poison in my body - except booze, fags and weed.  And possibly a bit of ayahuasca.
I only use natural remedies - until I get really ill then I will take painkillers, antibiotics or have an operation like the rest of you.
Research shows... - I have been online and found some crackpot website and I am now quoting it as fact.
I am qualified in *insert relevant fictional subject here* - I'm a quack and will take your money faster than you can spit.
The results of this therapy may not be immediately apparent - By the time you realise this doesn't work I'll  be long gone.
"practitioner"  - I will take shed loads of cash and speak in tongues to no avail.
I know this works - I have no evidence to back myself up, but if you question me you are basically calling me a liar.
You should go on this amazing detox - I have no concept of the human body to the point where I don't realise I am being ripped off and if I just stop putting crap in my body it will detox itself.  That's why I have a liver and kidneys.

Green Issues

I am protecting the environment - I never bothered to learn to drive but I am happy to take a lift from anyone as long as I don't have to pay for the petrol since that is supporting the multinationals.  I am also happy for a gas guzzling ambulance to take me to hospital, or a fire engine to attend my home if it catches fire.
Flying is bad and aeroplanes are evil - I am off to India for 6 months.
I am going off grid - except when I need money, healthcare, food or a place to live.
Your generation never recycled - I have no concept of life before everything got disposable.



Money

How about an exchange of energy? - I don't want to pay you.
Investment - you pay me an extortionate amount of money to sit and chant in an ice-cold yurt for a day and I convince you that you are doing yourself a favour and not  me.
You have to get with the paradigm shift - I'm not paying you and you are an unreasonable unenlightened git for expecting me to.
Down with the system! - except the benefits system which I live on.
Tax is theft - I don't want to pay tax but I am happy to accept the benefits provided by those who do.
All property is theft - except the stuff I own.


And finally:

I found that blog really negative and/or offensive - I have no ability to laugh at myself as I have had a complete sense of humour failure.