Mara's Musings

I had an interesting conversation with a Goddess Conference attendee yesterday in which she spoke about her concern regarding the lack of balance between the masculine and feminine aspects of deity within "modern witchcraft".  I did point out that the Goddess Temple was what it says it is, it is not and does not to my knowledge purport to be, the representative of the entirety of British Witchcraft/Paganism .  The clue is pretty much in the name.

I am not slagging off the Goddess conference or its attendees, I have never attended the conference myself so I only have my perspective from the outside.  What I don't like is the attitude that seems to permeate from many of their followers they are somehow "redressing the balance" because what they are actually doing is creating imblance within their own religion which comes across to people like me on the outside world as being anti-male, feminist dogma.

The main argument I hear in favour of excluding the God is that society is already "dominated" by a male God - in the form of Christianity, Islam and Judaism where the feminine is excluded. It's a valid point and I am not defending it, but world "society" contains many religions a lot of which do have female deities.  Even within Christianity the Virgin is venerated and prayed to in her own right.  Just walk into any Roman Catholic Church and you will see a shrine or chapel in her honour.

My question is:  how do you provide balance within your own particular faith by simply replacing the masculine with the feminine?  Surely placing the male as secondary to the female aspect of deity is equally as wrong and I don't think you can really justify marginalising the masculine in one religion to make up for the perceived lack of balance in another!

Surely we should, especially in this day an age, be able to recognise that different does not mean unequal. So called "masculine qualities" are not negative in my view, any more than "feminine qualities" are always totally positive in their expression.


This particular woman was obviously seeking to redress the balance within her chosen faith, and left with a copy of  the book The Witches' God by Stewart & Janet Farrar.  A wide choise of pagan God imagery has been hard to come by on the high street but can now be found at Herotica in Glastonbury .  The artwork is all created by Glastonbury artist Lynn Bastian and celebrates the Divine Male in all his aspects.

Easiest ways of making an idiot of yourself on Facebook:

My personal favourite - Posting when Emotional/Drunk

Posting when drunk is a really, really bad idea, but one that many of us, myself included, is guilty of from time to time.  There is nothing worse than waking up the morning after to read something that sounded really funny in your head at 2am after a bottle of wine, only to realise how totally cringe-making it actually is. It can also lead on to the following horrendous situations!!

Over-Reacting to People's Posts

If you post it for public comment you cannot really complain if people comment on it and people do not always view things the same. If they get offensive just delete their comments. Simples.  Discussion is all part of the rich fabric of life.  And if someone posts something you disagree with just keep it sane.  As someone who has been a victim of aggressive attacks over a pretty inoffensive little video, there is nothing quite as gratifying as bumping into someone in town who has completely over-reacted to something on Facebook only to feel like a complete arse once they had calmed down/sobered up. Watching a grown man blush and pretend they haven't seen you is the nectar of the Gods!!


Slagging off your Boss/Work Colleagues

This is an obvious no-no.  For a start you could end up getting the sack and this isn't necessarily the worst case scenario.  You could end up working somewhere and finding that everyone dislikes you intensely.  Definitely not pleasant. Generic bitching about work is fine, but if you start slagging off individuals and you actually need the job you may want to rethink!  Someone always knows someone who knows someone who may know exactly who you are talking about!!  And obviously no one would be idiotic enough to do this if their boss is actually on Facebook would they? 

Washing your Dirty Laundry in Public (Or even worse someone else's!)

No one really wants to know that you think your other half is a complete wanker/bitch.  If that's the case then either move on or shut up.  You may well be all loved up again tomorrow however, the reputation of your other half is going to take a bashing and it may affect people's wish to socialise with them (and you) in the future.

Similarly if someone tells you something about their relationship problems they really don't want cryptic remarks on your status or responses to theirs that gives the game away and possibly more information than they want in the public domain.

Relationship-related Statuses

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We don't need to know how much you love each other every second of every day.  Repeated gushing saccharin statuses are incredibly boring.  You will end up with your feed hidden, or even worse, people will just define you in terms of your relationship.  There is nothing worse than being one-dimensional.  Also, you are going to feel like a complete idiot if it all goes tits up later!  The odd romantic post is great, but if it's every 2nd or 3rd status your audience will probably go into a coma through sugar overload!

No one wants to know if you have had/or are planning to have some sack time with the love of your life.  As far as we are all concerned you are like action man/Barbie in the genitals department and images of you making the beast with 2 backs are not required.  And we especially do not want you colouring them in!

At the present time you can choose from a grand total of 10 relationship statuses on the popular social networking site Facebook.  But how on earth can one choose?  Read my brief guide to help you make one of the most important social networking decisions of your life!


Single, Engaged, Married, Divorced, Widowed and in a Civil Partnership.  These mean what we all know they mean. But what if we do not neatly fit into these nice pigeon holes that Facebook has designed for us?  Fear not!!  You have more choices!!

Separated - may mean what it says, can also mean "really I'm married but I fancy a bit on the side".  

In a Relationship - long term,(probably) monogomous relationship with a person of indeterminant gender. Possibly cohabiting.  Unlike "married" and "civil partnership" this will not simultaneously inform your audience as to the nature of your sexuality. To be fair this "outing" is not really Facebook's fault but rather the fault of a society that sees marriage between 2 people of the same sex and that between a man and a woman as somehow different.  But I digress.

The 2 other relationship statuses on offer are: "in an open relationship" and "it's complicated". These are a bit more ambiguous in their meaning.

Open Relationship as a status should NEVER be taken at face value.  A genuine open relationship is by mutual agreement. However in the parameters of  Facebook (and in my experience also in real life!) you can never really know if this is the case or if it is just one person agreeing that the other can shag around in the vain hope that they won't.  So if you start facebook flirting and/or end up forming some sort of primarily sexual relationship with someone who claims to be in an "open relationship"  you could still end up getting your head kicked in by their significant other.  Be warned.

My favourite status of all time has to be "It's Complicated" - What the hell does that mean?  How complicated can it be?  Either you are in a relationship or you are not!!  Some relationships really are too complicated to explain easily in a one word status, but most actually aren't.  For the sake of argument lets look at some potential meanings to this intriguing relationship status:

• I am polyamorous (not to be confused with infidelity or promiscuity) 
• I have a couple on the go and like to keep my options open
• One or both parties are married or in a relationship elsewhere
• One or both parties is committment phobic
• We live miles apart a or there are other logistical issues making the relationship more complex that usual
• I want to be monogomous but my partner doesn't and I am hanging around waiting for them to change their mind. (And vice versa).
• I am married/in a relationship but my significant other "doesn't understand me"
• I have a "friends with benefits" arrangement.
• Do not rule out simple attention seeking behaviour on this one.

Of course these are not extensive definitions is is not an extensive list and some relationships really are too complicated to explain with a status update on facebook but frankly if the relationship is so complicated you can't even decide if you are in one or not then you're single.

Wasn't life so much simpler when you either ticked married or single in a box?

...A Web Designer/Freelance Writer

Just a qucik insight into a day in the life of a self employed web designer and freelance writer.

On a "normal day" I will:

Start the day with an hour and a half checking emails and trawling freelance websites for upcoming new projects.  Answer all email, apply for jobs and look at the day's tasks.  I revist my email regularly throughout the day too so I can respond to clients quickly.

At some point I will spend  time blogging and updating social networking sites (including Facebook where a lot of my clients contact me), checking Twitter, LinkedIn and posting on there to maintain my web presence and getting myself "out there" as far as my business is concerned.  I pop in and out of these periodically throughout the day too, whilst I am waiting for images to upload or for some programme or other to do its thing.  There can be a lot of waiting around in web design!!

The main body of my work is spent blogging, writing articles for clients, designing and/or maintaining websites, editing images,proof reading and whatever other work I actually have currently in the pipeline.  Web design can be incredibly time consuming.  "Just" popping up 20 images may be what the client thinks the job is.  In reality editing in photoshop, uploading galleries, tagging images and generally making things look right at the end of it all generally takes hours.  This is one of the reasons I offer the clients package deals and monthly retainer options because all these "little jobs" often add up to a lot of hours.

I tend to work in blocks of 2 hours which is the time it takes for the battery on my laptop to run down!  The beep tells me it's time for a break and charge my machine and I will stop for half an hour to give myself time away from staring at the screen.  It's not all sitting around though!  During these times I can do other stuff I need to do like the laundry, housework, printing up bits and pieces I need for clients and having the obligatory cup of tea.

I usually pop in to town for an hour or so, to shop, catch up with people and also to network.  It's amazing how much work you can pic up sitting outside a cafe with a cup of tea in Glastonbury! 

Then it's back to more of the same until usually about 6pm when I stop to eat and then I use the next couple of hours to sort accounts and plan the next days work, answer emails and so on.

On other days I may take 3 hours out to cover some shop work, or to go and meet a client for a couple of hours. Or I may continue into the wee small hours to get a job done to a deadline.  Each day is different and it is sometimes difficult to get motivated.  But it is incredibly satisfying to have a client come to you with an idea and gradually see that take shape into a fully functioning website.