Mara's Musings

At the present time you can choose from a grand total of 10 relationship statuses on the popular social networking site Facebook.  But how on earth can one choose?  Read my brief guide to help you make one of the most important social networking decisions of your life!


Single, Engaged, Married, Divorced, Widowed and in a Civil Partnership.  These mean what we all know they mean. But what if we do not neatly fit into these nice pigeon holes that Facebook has designed for us?  Fear not!!  You have more choices!!

Separated - may mean what it says, can also mean "really I'm married but I fancy a bit on the side".  

In a Relationship - long term,(probably) monogomous relationship with a person of indeterminant gender. Possibly cohabiting.  Unlike "married" and "civil partnership" this will not simultaneously inform your audience as to the nature of your sexuality. To be fair this "outing" is not really Facebook's fault but rather the fault of a society that sees marriage between 2 people of the same sex and that between a man and a woman as somehow different.  But I digress.

The 2 other relationship statuses on offer are: "in an open relationship" and "it's complicated". These are a bit more ambiguous in their meaning.

Open Relationship as a status should NEVER be taken at face value.  A genuine open relationship is by mutual agreement. However in the parameters of  Facebook (and in my experience also in real life!) you can never really know if this is the case or if it is just one person agreeing that the other can shag around in the vain hope that they won't.  So if you start facebook flirting and/or end up forming some sort of primarily sexual relationship with someone who claims to be in an "open relationship"  you could still end up getting your head kicked in by their significant other.  Be warned.

My favourite status of all time has to be "It's Complicated" - What the hell does that mean?  How complicated can it be?  Either you are in a relationship or you are not!!  Some relationships really are too complicated to explain easily in a one word status, but most actually aren't.  For the sake of argument lets look at some potential meanings to this intriguing relationship status:

• I am polyamorous (not to be confused with infidelity or promiscuity) 
• I have a couple on the go and like to keep my options open
• One or both parties are married or in a relationship elsewhere
• One or both parties is committment phobic
• We live miles apart a or there are other logistical issues making the relationship more complex that usual
• I want to be monogomous but my partner doesn't and I am hanging around waiting for them to change their mind. (And vice versa).
• I am married/in a relationship but my significant other "doesn't understand me"
• I have a "friends with benefits" arrangement.
• Do not rule out simple attention seeking behaviour on this one.

Of course these are not extensive definitions is is not an extensive list and some relationships really are too complicated to explain with a status update on facebook but frankly if the relationship is so complicated you can't even decide if you are in one or not then you're single.

Wasn't life so much simpler when you either ticked married or single in a box?