Mara's Musings

This blog is about issues of online privacy when using social networking sites like Facebook.  However, it can equally apply to discussion forums or content that is put up anywhere online.

What Facebook and online forums give us is the opportunity to vent immediately over things that we feel strongly about and we post whilst we are vulnerable/angry/desparate/drunk and so on. It takes away the time we used to spend mulling things over and thinking before speaking.  Most of us will fall foul of this from time to time.  We have all seen people post negative remarks or comments about work colleagues, their boss, friends, lovers, and details of their personal life.

The first thing to bear in mind is that when you are posting on facebook is that you are essentially posting publicly to the internet regardless of the security settings you choose on each post.  This information is freely available to you within the Facebook Help Centre, if you know where to look and are prepared to dig far enough.

"I have custom privacy settings" is an oft-used phrase regarding facebook privacy, and it is really just lulling you into a false sense of security.

In a nutshell what the privacy centre on Facebook tells you is that:

Setting the initial post/note or status update to "friends only" will not prevent people who are not your friends from seeing what you post on Facebook.  If anyone clicks "share" you instantly lose control over who can see your original post.  The control over visibility passes to the person who displays that content on their page via sharing.  Even blocking a person by name will not save you if they are friends with someone who subsequently share the original post.

So how does this happen in reality?  In many ways, for example:


You post a status and set your privacy as "friends only".
Someone on your wall clicks "share".  Now all their friends can see it too.
Not only can they see it, they can also click "share" and so on.
One person shares but their privacy is set to public.  Now it's out there for anyone to see.
Combine this to the fact that anyone can at any time change the privacy setting on their own "share" from "friends only" to "public" and it is easy to see how your information, personal facts, comments, photos, and posts can easily permeate through and become visible world wide.
Pretty soon it is all over the place - this is often referred to "going viral" when applied to blogs, videos and so on. Which gives some indication of the speed and distance things can spread very quickly in a short period of time.

Of course you can see if a post has been shared but not who has shared it.  Once it has been shared, it can be shared on again and again, and you would have no idea of how many times the post has moved on.

Always remember that a Facebook "friend" is not necessarily someone who will act in a way associated with real life friendship.  If you do not know them in real life consider the word "contact" as a more accurate assessment of their role on your page. It may change your perception enough to stop and consider your posts more carefully.

We have all seen posts like these on Facebook.

The other thing to recognise is that people can and do do is take a photograph of the screen (known as "screen capture" or "screenshots") which then provides an image of your blog/website/note or post.  This can then be saved and/or printed, attached to emails or posted up on other websites and forums and widely distributed online. I have known people get presented with screenshots of inappropriate posts and conversations on their arrival at work the following day.
If you think I am exagerrating take a trip to the website Failbook.  You will see thousands upon thousands of statuses, images, notes, pictures and so on that have been photographed and shared in this way and then float about for all eternity in the ether.  Of course they give us all a good laugh - until we end up on the receiving end of it through an ill-conceived post.

So what happens if the worse comes to the worst and you end up with your inner rants out there online for all to see?
First, remove the original post.  It may seem like bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted but it is still good for damage limitation. Once deleted the post should disappear from view even if shared.  It won't get rid of screenshots that arrive in failbook or on your boss' desk but it does show a willingness to accept and rectify the problem, and lends weight to any apologies you may need to make.  It also prevents new comments being added later only to resurrect the issue, and it gives the post a chance to disappear into the distant internet memory vaults. Out of sight out of mind.

If your post was about a person or company and it has been seen things can get tricky.  Many of us have seen the above image and it is all very amusing to everyone except the person who posted it. Your first port of call, after you have removed the offending article or post is to accept that the responsibility for the situation is yours and to apologise to the people involved.  Do not try to blame the victim, the sharer(s), Facebook or the booze.  You posted it, and unless you were being forced at gun point, there really is no one or nothing else you can legitamately blame.  Accept that perhaps a social networking site was probably not the best forum to discuss your issues. If necessary apologise publicly in the place you originally put the post.  Once that is done, let the matter lie, and whatever you do do not get dragged into discussing it any further online:  even if you think things could not get any worse.  They can.

If you put something personal on your status, which you are happy to share and receive upsetting remarks remember you not have to put up with this!!  Simply delete the offending posts, and if they persist then delete them as friends and block them.  People who are probably quite meek in real life can become the most appalling bullies once they get behind a computer screen!  If it upsets you, get rid. 

In conclusion:

When posting anywhere on line it is worth remembering that:

• People on facebook and online forums are often strangers and are not real friends.
• Some people are not very nice.
• Some people will use any opportunity to pick a fight on any issue (internet trolls).

And most of all ALWAYS remember this:

• Personal information that you do not want to become public knowledge should never be posted anywhere on Facebook.

• If you would not discuss this with a friend in a pub full of strangers or anywhere it could be overhead then do not put it on facebook.