Mara's Musings

I have taken to picking my posts/status updates/comments to pieces before I post because someone, somewhere always either takes offense or gets the wrong end of the stick.  If you too are sick of trying to protect everyone else's feelings as well as your own and you never want to risk offending anyone ever again, or indeed risk becoming the victim of an online troll, you will need to learn to avoid certain "high risk" subjects:


Animal Rights
Any link, comment or question on this subject is likely to produce defensive comments and even aggressive ones.  If you call into question any element of hypocrisy relating to people who participate in certain activities in the name of animal rights it is tantamount to saying that all said organisations are bad, that animal protection is bad and that you want to torture harmless puppies, bunnies and kittens.  No matter how much you may feel that animal protection and rescue is great, no matter how many times you repeat yourself and even if you support or even run a rescue yourself, you will never convince your attackers that you didnt go the the KFC School of Animal Husbandry and are therefore an evil bastard who runs a battery farm and should be hung by their nipples from the nearest tree.

Meat Eating/Vegetarianism/Veganism/Raw Eating/Any Dietary Choices
Unless you are actually undertaking a type of diet in the area on which you wish to comment, it will automatically be assumed that any link you post is a veiled or even an overt attack on someone else's lifestyle choice.  Even if you believe strongly in your cause that all meat is murder or a vegan diet is odd and may be bad for you, you must remain silent or risk social network suicide.  In fact even the most innocuous links should be avoided.  Do not even consider posting something that you feel anyone in a dietary/lifestyle group that is in anyway different to your own would find interesting or informative. It can be seen as patronising or even as a form of attack.  Once they get defensive you will then feel oblicated to waste your life trying to explain something  is actually completely self-explanatory. 

Race
Even if you are trying to point out something perfectly reasonable, be aware that you could get accused of racism at any time. This applies equally to ALL races..  Avoid any statements relating to your own race, or others, or any opinion of yours which may be seen to be racially biased.  The safest course of action is to keep completely silent and convince yourself that everyone is completely pure of thought and no one ever makes a racist remark, tells an improper joke, holds a racist stereotype view of anyone or in any way, shape or form dislikes or makes assumptions about anyone simply on the basis that their skin may be a different colour. It's much safer that way.  This can equally be applied to nationality, gender, sexuality, etc.  In fact any aspect of human behaviour.  So if you can possibly resist try not to comment on anything at all.

Religion
Another hot potato best avoided.  How can a non-christian/jew/muslim/hindu/buddhist/pagan possibly have anything to say on anyone else's religion?  We are best not trying to understand others by asking questions, because someone somewhere is going to get on the defensive and assume you are ridiculing/undermining their whole belief system. 

Be aware that someone may hold theories on a number of religious based subjects themselves, eg, they may consider that it is likely they descended from Aliens but ridicule the existence of a God or Goddess.  Therefore, if you say anything at all about your own religion they are just as likely to discount it as rubbish as anyone else. Silence is the best option here.

Politics/Current Affairs
You don't want to get accused of being left/right wing, towing the party line, etc by expressing an opinion.  People get very upset if others question their viewpoint let alone openly disagreeing with it and this will lead to upset and social networking unpopularity, with of course the threat of the ultimate sanction: that of being being blocked and deleted.  Best to just agree with everyone about everything.  Or say nothing in case you get accused of being one of the "sheeple". 

The Environment
Never mention renewable energy, the risk here is that you will be accused of being a left wing tree hugging hippy. Someone will invariably point out that you are typing on a mass produced computer, which is probably non-recyclable and using electricity which is likely generated via fossil fuel/oil or nuclear power plants, you will get upset and it will all go terribly wrong.

Never question anyone who is protesting on anything enviornment related.  If the campaign is in favour of nuclear energy see my previous comment on being called a tree-hugger, if it is against nuclear power expect to be lambasted as if you are personally producing CFC containing aerosols and burning non-smokeless fossil fuels on a world widescale whilst simultaneously bulldozing the rainforest.

Never ask about alternatives to what they are protesting against most people do not know, or have not bothered to investigate if there actually is one. So don't risk bruising their sensibilities with difficult questions.  It's just not the decent thing to do.

Other Countries
Never, ever, postulate about possible solutions to problems in other countries.  Not only are you going to be told you are wrong and risk hurt feelings you are also likely to be branded either a) racist or b) an imperialist oppressor (possibly both) or conversely c) a bleeding heart liberal.

Never use the word "terrorism" in a post - remember 'one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter' and you would not wish to ever offend anyone, that would be bad.  Also any suggestion of "International Aid" is something that will get you into a lot of  trouble. If you cannot help but empathise with the plight of others never suggest that we send them any financial aid whatsoever.  It will only lead to social networking heartache.

So in conclusion:  to avoid offence on social networking sites you should try to remember that you do not actually know half of your "online friends", you are not down the pub having a good natured, face-to-face banter like you would have been back in the "good old days" when you could get your meaning across by tone of voice etc and above all:-

• Never express your own opinion
• Never comment on other people's opinions

In fact it may be safer to just leave the site altogether and go back to talking to people face to face where such confusion is less common and more easily resolved.